【一百五十一章】
那个被你果断拉黑的人在另一个地方悄悄关注你，在无数个脆弱的夜里，忍了一万次想联系你的冲动，这些，你都不知道吧。
开朗是装的 懂事是装的 跟谁都合得来是装的 自信是装的 只有我自己知道自卑是真的 孤独是真的 难过也是真的.
Cheerful is pretending to be sensible, pretending to get along with everyone, pretending to be confident, pretending that only I know that inferiority is really lonely, is really sad and true.
The person you blocked decisively followed you quietly in another place and endured the impulse to contact you ten thousand times on countless fragile nights. You don't know all this, do you?
你好像有点太懂事了，聊天你垫底，电话你总是让别人先挂，你努力维持所有人的关系，注意别人的心情，你悄悄告诉我，这么小心翼翼，累吗。？
You seem to be a little too sensible, chat you at the bottom, the phone you always let others hang up first, you try to maintain the relationship of all people, pay attention to other people's mood, you quietly told me, so careful, tired.？
就因为我床边有纸，枕下有刀，床上有耳机，胳膊上有疤，脸上有泪，眼里有血丝，所以你就说我是怪物对吗。
Just because I have paper by my bed, a knife under my pillow, headphones on my bed, scars on my arms, tears on my face and blood in my eyes, so you call me a monster, right?
小东西这个称号真是太犯规了 特别是喜欢的人喊 真是一瞬间心脏狂跳 温柔又霸道的人永远能压住我的心.
The title of little thing is so foul, especially when the one you like yells, it's a sudden heartbeat. Gentle and overbearing people can always keep pressure on my heart.
温柔是天生的， 但我没有， 占有欲强 ，醋坛子 ，学习不好 ，满嘴脏话， 动不动就发脾气 ，话唠， 事多， 爱哭 ，爱藏心事 ，矫情 ，注意细节 ，爱熬夜 ，烦人， 强迫症 ，没有安全感， 长得不好看 声音不好听 ，内向， 社交恐惧症 ，洁癖， 不会撒娇 ，死皮赖脸 ，幼稚， 爱摆架子 ，没朋友 ，玻璃心 ，经常被拉黑 ，脑子不好使 ，爱要面子， 假笑 ， 呼…我就是这样一个人， 不喜欢我很正常。
Gentleness is natural, but I am not possessive and jealous. I can't learn to be full of dirty words. I often lose my temper, talk, cry, hide, pay attention to details,
stay up late, annoying, obsessive-compulsive disorder, sense of security is not good-looking, voice is not good-looking, introverted social phobia, cleanliness, show off.
Without friends, the glass heart is often blocked and the brain is not good enough to make love face-saving and fake smile. That's who I am. It's normal that I don't like me.